Wonderful, another exercise in narcissism and promotion of atheism. Ok Kamal, we understand that your atheist but jeez do you have to shout it from the rooftops? I couldn't stand watching 1 Kamal and his face throughout Hey Ram (although I admit the film is a masterpiece) now he wants us to sit through ten.

Supposedly the story spans 500yrs, brilliant absolutely brilliant. Bravo Kamal, lets just blow another 50crore on some "comedy" which also "deals with the evils of society". I bet instead of spending 50crore on a movie that tells me things I already know, you could save people the hassle of sitting on their arses for 3hrs watching you and give the money to people who actually do something to get rid of "modern day evils".

Oh and what exactly is a modern day evil that didn't exist in the Dashavataram days?

Nice one Kamal, after copying Kurosawa, Scorsese and pretty much every other filmmaker, you've decided to copy the scriptures itself. It's a real shame they dont present you with new ways to "spectacularly" make movies. You know what would be spectacular, if Kamal copied "The Da Vinci Code". It's a shit book and a shit movie but put in the hands of a self lover could do wonders to Kamal. It's really a surprise that he hasn't actually copied it yet. It would be perfect for him. He could even call it "The Kamal Haasan Code" or perhaps "The Atheists Guide to God".

I've got nothing against atheists, but narcissists I do. Kamal seems to think of himself as some sort of intellectual because "doga thirrupi pota God" in Anbe Sivam seems to have literary merit written all over it. The last time I heard that joke was back in 4th standard.

Anbe Sivam, a Kamal Haasan acting masterpiece. It also happens to be a Kamal Haasan run lecture. I thought the man who was an idealist and atheist didn't believe in preaching, but he does bring out his love to make men sit through 3hrs of KamalHaasanism. I saw Anbe Sivam in order to watch a film, not a sermon.

Going by this interview in 2004 where Kamal said:

What do you like and dislike about yourself?

What I like is what I exhibit. What I don't like, I edit so that you don't see it. It is like clothing. It is like how men wear tight T-shirts to show off their muscles. If they have a paunch, they wear loose shirts.

Kamal pretty much only likes himself and atheism, oh and women, but we don't want to go there now do we. You can dispute me all you like, but that's about the only thing he shows. And Kamal, please don't talk about tight clothing when you're starting to make Prabhu look thin.

Next question:

Are you a narcissist?

No. You must appreciate what you are doing. Tell me, when do you become a respectable person in society? When you start respecting yourself. That is when you take care of yourself, that is when you comb your hair, groom yourself and cleanse your body. You do all this because you respect yourself. You won't wear a dress because you may not look good in that. My being a fan of Kamal Haasan is also like that.

You have to appreciate the finer points of your work; criticise too, if needed. I am also my own worst and most honest critic. I can say things which nobody will ever dare say. Even the best of friends will stop at a point, whereas I can go beyond.

Next Question...

Rediff: Kamal are you a liar?
Venkat (popping out of nowhere): Yes he is. And a thief of time. And a thief off pretty much every other filmmaker. Oh and he is also one of the best preachers out there. Imagine what he could do as the Pope!!

And yet, after all this, does one admire Kamal for his perfectionism? Yes.

Wish you all a very happy Gandhi Jayanti. Let us not forget who the father of our nation is and who we should be devoted to. In a recent poll, Bill Gates out ranked Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi as our country's biggest "hero" or "idol" amongst the younger generation (yes that includes people who are about 30). Something seriously going wrong here. Let's see if it can be fixed sooner rather than later, because as far as I know, no-one idolises businessmen in the States or anywhere else for that matter.

The last time I wrote anything related to Indian movies was back in September of 2005. That is proof enough that for the given time period till writing this, Indian movies are, in general, crap and continue to be crap. I am yet to see Lage Raho Munnabhai which I have been promised is brilliant so I cannot comment on all movies.

Anyway, I saw Kamal's latest Vettaiyadu Villayadu. Mostly a pedestrian movie. Even the macho moments aren't really macho or even cool. Kamal is pathetic at playing a stylish police officer in plainly obvious commerical film. This was plainly obvious in Aalavandaan and it is the same over here. When he says "...chinna pasangala..." during one of the latter scenes to a villain I was sitting there thinking what a boon it would be to have Rajini here. Kamal should stick to what he does best: serious efforts which question humanity, religion, love and loss. Hey Ram or Kurudhipunal or Virumaandi or Guna or Mahanadhi are brilliant examples of this sort of Kamal.

I have noticed a few people on the net claiming Kamal's performance to be subdued, evocative and subtle. Wrong. It is disinterested and random. Like Coke (the drink!) which is hot and flat. It is still Coke but it lacks the fizz. Jyothika labours in a most stupid performance. What a waste of talent overall. The guy who acts as "Anderson" was also pathetic.

Gautham Menon seems to have been heavily influenced by American police procedurals. Influenced, yes. Inspired, no. This film just shouts out "wannabe" from the word go and with dialogue like "Back home we call it Raghavan instinct" it is most definitely more comical than Gautham Menon intended. Made me cringe. I don't quite know what made Kamal sign this film. If I was to take a wild guess, it would have to be the money. Along with Vasool Raja MBBS this forms two films that Kamal has blatently turned up on set to be paid. This isn't Kamal the actor working, it is Kamal the businessman.

As for the cinematogrpahy. It isn't brilliant either. I am not quite sure why it is being lauded as much as it is. Probably because every other movie being made in Kollywood is about as good as what most children manage when given a video camera. Anyway it is over the top, childish and lacks vision. I must say the songs look very nice, especially the one shot at night in New York. It captured the essence of the city that never sleeps.

Which brings me to my next point: music. I am not quite sure who did the background score. Could have been Harris Jeyaraj or someone else. Whoever it was, it was absolutely bemoaning. Same with "Anniyan". Well over the top and unneccessary. Most Tamil movies I have seen in the recent past have this problem. It detracts from the story, the acting and the direction. I would say that only two people are able to provide splending background music: Rahman and Illayaraja. Raja is in a league of his own in this regard.

The songs themselves are not that bad, could have been worse.

As you are reading this, you are probably thinking this is a very negative review. Well, the film isn't great or even good. It is mediocre at best and flat out bad at worst. Compared to the sleek and memorable effort Menon provided for us in Kaaka Kakka, this is most definitely a step backwards. You also probably noticed my usage of English wasn't exactly brilliant. That's because I reserve my better English for better things. Over and out: a highly dissapointed Kamal fan.